Divorce without Destruction

Contrary to the image of divorce and separation which we see in the media, the end of a relationship, painful though it is, does not have to give rise to an almighty battle, with the supporting armies of families and friends and the house, the pension and the kids, the ground won or lost.

The majority of people will talk to me about wanting, first and foremost, to protect their children and ensure they do not suffer as a result of their parent's separation. They want security and to protect the assets and wealth that as a family they once had together and in the future which will now have apart.

The role of the good family lawyer is about supporting and navigating the course for a client, focussing on their aims, their family needs and the resources (both financial and personal) now available to meet those needs in the context of the law.

Understanding and recognising the anger, bitterness and fear is crucial but it does not mean that those complex emotions should be the basis on which decisions are made.

It is sometimes necessary, and the right approach, to make applications to the court to make decisions about arrangements for children or for sorting out finances. But it is important to recognise that for most people the experience they want for themselves and their family is not one of hostility, accusation, mistrust, and breakdown of communication, or where conflict breeds conflict.

Is it possible for lawyers to work together, to look at the interests of the family as whole, to focus on their priorities and needs, to hear and acknowledge the pain but to be constructive, for clients to move forward with self respect and to envisage a secure future - yes it is because this is what family lawyers are doing and are helping their clients achieve every day.