Grandparents: How do I make sure I don’t lose time with my grandchildren after a divorce or split?
There can be few things more upsetting for a grandparent than the prospect of losing cherished time with a beloved grandchild after their parents separate.
Sadly, when emotions run high between parents battling through a breakup, the threat of reducing contact, or sometimes withdrawing it altogether, is made.
As grandparents have no automatic legal right to see their grandchild, unless they have parental responsibility, this can be a frightening time.
However, there are things you can do to improve the situation, including taking specialist legal advice from an experienced family solicitor who can talk you through your options as well as explaining strategies for keeping things calm between everyone involved.
Says Associate Solicitor Jessica Williams: “Don’t feel guilty if you find yourself in this position. There can be worries that talking to a solicitor could make things even more difficult – however, it can often help the situation, keep doors open and make sure grandchildren still have contact with the other side of their family. Doing nothing might be something you regret later.”
How bad is the problem for grandparents?
The bond between grandparent and grandchild is often an incredibly important one yet more than 40% of grandparents lose contact with their grandchildren when the parents separate.
Statistics also show that around 250,000 grandparents have never been allowed to see their grandchildren and 150,000 have been warned by police not to attempt contact.
An independent 2021 survey of 1,000 grandparents found that:
- Fifteen percent had been prevented from seeing their grandchildren.
- Grandparents between 30 and 49 were the most likely to be excluded from their grandchildren’s lives.
- For a third of grandparents, a personal disagreement was the most common reason for loss of access with the main person identified as preventing contact being a son’s wife or partner.
What should you do if you are told you are going to lose time with your grandchilden?
The first step should always be to try to sit down with the parent or parents to talk things through as calmly as possible, always keeping in sight what is best for the grandchildren.
There is nothing wrong with explaining how important it is to you to spend time with your grandchildren and how much it means to you.
You could even suggest how it might work – after school pickups, a few hours a week, weekend sleepovers for example.
What if talking gets you nowhere in terms of spending time with your grandchildren?
This is where consulting a specialist family lawyer can help.
In many cases, a lawyer can play an important role in helping relationships get back on track through gentle negotiation and contact.
Says Jess: “In one case I was involved with, in which a maternal grandmother desperately wanted contact with her grandchildren after their parents separated, we were able to improve things enough for her to rekindle a relationship with her eldest grandchild and potentially start one with two other grandchildren she had never met.
“This involved some calm letters, me speaking to the eldest grandchild (who was about 20 at the time) and negotiation which led to him meeting his grandmother for a coffee. A very important breakthrough.”
What about mediation when it comes to grandparents’ access?
Resolving family disputes by mediation is considered increasingly important, including grandparents’ access rights.
Mediation, arbitration and collaboration are all excellent ways of opening up communication, maintaining a positive dialogue and helping both sides to see each other’s point of view.
More and more, the Family Courts are demanding evidence you have explored this option before going to court, an often stressful, emotional and upsetting experience which should always be considered a last resort.
Wards Solicitors’ Family Team has trained collaborative lawyers and can also advise you on mediation and arbitration.
What if you have to go to court to ensure you don’t lose time with your grandchildren?
If mediation is unsuccessful or arbitration can’t be agreed on, grandparents concerned about losing time with their grandchildren may need to apply to court to secure contact.
The Family Court recognises the importance of the relationship for both parties and the irreplaceable contribution that grandparents can make to a child’s life.
It also acknowledges the vital role grandparents can play in supporting separated parents and helping to maintain emotional stability for everyone involved at a difficult time.
If you do decide this is the route you want to take, after mediation efforts have failed, you must apply for permission (leave) to apply to the court for an order concerning your grandchildren.
If this is given, after the court has looked at your relationship with your grandchildren and the nature of the application, you can apply for a child arrangement order. This will set out and regulate who a child lives with, where a child will spend their time and who a child has contact with.
Get in touch
Not only has Wards Solicitors been named as Bristol Law Society’s Regional Firm of the Year 2025, our Family Law practice is highlighted as a recommended service in the 2025 edition of the independent Legal 500 guide of outstanding legal professionals.
Our Family Law and Divorce Team, working across all 13 of our offices, is hugely experienced in providing practical and supportive advice to help you identify and prioritise the issues in your best interests.
Associate Solicitor Jessica Williams has built up extensive experience working with grandparents, settling cases by negotiation and mediation, and instructing counsel if a case does need to go to court.
In most cases, we offer a free, 30-minute appointment to discuss your case.
Phone Jessica: 0117 986 3504
Email Jessica: Jessica.Williams@wards.uk.com